a couple days ago i absentmindedly said, "It's amazing that more people don't die over the summer."

When returning to one part of my "seasonal life", seeing all these people that I had absolutely no contact with for several months, I found it hard to grasp the concept that the existence of these other people (that were by all means dead to me for months) was not dependent upon my perception of them. Yes, yes, elementary, I know, but why did I think they would die? Why did I think they would/could/might die? Why couldn't they have taken up sky-diving or Buddhism or some other thing that would change them to me? It makes it uncomfortably easy if people don't change when I neglect/deny/forget them.

aha, it works.

first, yes, i know, internet explorer puts my side bar o' links all the way at the bottom of the page. for those of you that still use such a decrepit web browser, too bad, scroll down.

second, I've been riding my motorcycle everywhere, reading a lot of Zizek, some Bonhoeffer, Vonnegut, and tea leaves. (just kidding, i prefer ashtrays)

third, I became unnaturally aware of the effects of caffeine on my thought processes. The sumac trees are beginning to turn. Everyone walks too fast, and not enough.

listening to the rain outside an unscreened window propped with a pool cue case

small bright focused blue electric light igniting the experience that I believe in

back in/to hillsdale
already

severely sprained/possibly broken ankle and tendonitis = no more marathon
kinda depressing after running 170 miles in training, but it was good for me, i got in shape and there's always the next marathon

today I saw the construction workers that are building the new mcdonald's (gotta have a play place) on their lunch break eating burger king