quote

"But if you say that then they won't know what you're talkin' about," she said.
"Hey, the inadequacy of language is not my problem," I responded.

Holy Friday

I almost feel guilty for getting excited (no smiling, but a slight squirming in my chair) that the forecast for Holy Friday is "T-storms".

A paper for literature of the American West

writing a paper on this book and about language.
language is fake.
it is not real.
language is both the problem and the solution to the unnatainability of the real (stuff).

a metaphor is a good metaphor for this predicament.
a metaphor has two parts.
one is real.
one is not.
the real one gets described by the not real one.
a metaphor: God is love.
God is real.
love is not.
love describes God.
God is described by love.

once God is described by love love puts God in a love shaped box (a heart?).
This is a problem because God is more than love.

And now, it gets crazy.

sometimes the metaphor is flipped.
love becomes God.
Someone does something good out of love and there is a manifestation of God.
This is not a problem.
This is a solution.

A conversation with myself: Spring Fever

--Been such a long time since we sat on the grass.

--Wasn't that hysterical when that cat had those kittens and they were all blind but we thought that they were just stupid at first and ran into stuff, but then we found out that you little sister cut off their whiskers with her pink saftey scissor and they weren't blind at all?

--It's weird how in the fall the ground is warm and the air is cold in the spring the air is warm and the ground is cold.

--What was the name of that old grocery store, the last one left in town, the one where we tried to get pop from the machine in front with quarter-sized washers on a Sunday afternoon, that family owned it last, what was their name, they had three boys, Matthew, Marcus, and Lucas, and...

--It was called "Johnson's"

--Yeah, that was their name.

--I helped patch the roof of the new fire department in front of that store last, no two summers, ago.

--I used to mow the lawn for an old blind, deaf, wheelchaired lady that lived across the street from that grocery store when I was fourteen. I would use gramma and grampa's push mower and push it down the sidewalk and cut through the blacktop parking lot...that wasn't long after that place closed. The asphalt was always hot. But anyway, her name was Mrs. Polly and she would always watch baseball from her dump chair and I'd have to just walk in and go like 5, 6 feet from her and yell, "Mrs. Polly...I'm here to mow yer lawn."

--huh

--yeah

--God it's nice out here.

I am

Main Entry: engaged
Part of Speech: adjective 1
Definition: promised
Synonyms: affianced, asked for, betrothed, bird, bound, committed, contracted, future, going steady, hooked, intended, matched, pinned, pledged, plighted, ringed, spoken for, steady
Antonyms: available, single, unattached, uncommitted, unengaged
Source: Roget's New Millennium™ Thesaurus, First Edition (v 1.1.1)
Copyright © 2006 by Lexico Publishing Group, LLC. All rights reserved.

That's it.

I've had enough. For over three years now I have written on this blog. Some of it was worth while, most of it not. All in all when I think about it I get an overwhelming sense of mismanaged time. I've spent hours that add up to weeks writing for this thing, attempting to build relationships on nothing but electricity and artificial light. It's time for me to invest my time in real relationships. No more of this checking for comments twelve times a day. No more feeling guilty for not posting "for like ever." No more bleary eyed blog reading to see what my stalk-ees (i.e. friends) are doing.

I will not read blogs any more. I am probably going to forswear the internet once I graduate. I will not apologize, and YES, I am serious. I will leave this up for one week then delete this blog.